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Saturday, November 7, 2009

Sex Toy Review #3

For, any of you out there in internet-land that have been keeping up with the Stuart Bedasso sex toy reviews, may remember that this reviewer is at 0-2 in sex toy funness.  I decided that I certainly did not to make that 0-3, therefore I went with what is generally a safe bet, the vibrator.  So, I went ahead and ordered the Fusion Duality vibrator.  After waiting patiently for my new toy, I was finally greeted with a very sexy looking vibrator in its own tin.  I am an artist and a lover of great design and packaging, and I must say, I was impressed.  Wow, if the packaging alone was turning me on, then getting batteries for this thing ASAP was a must!  Fortunately for me, and the Earth, I had 4 AAA rechargeable batteries at home with this purple vibrator's name on them.

So on to details, it's called a dual-headed massager as it has two different, independently used, vibrating heads.  One is clearly used for g-spot massaging and the other is slightly ribbed for anal pleasures.  My husband and I have recently renewed our vows (I know, awwww) so we thought that was the perfect time to try out the new toy.  Wow.  I will say it again, wow.  Really, wow!  Easy to control, 16 different functions of vibrations and pulsations...it rocked my world.  I've had the infamous "rabbit" before, and this was better.  Ladies (and men who want their ladies to be extra satisfied)....go to Babeland immediately and get this sex toy!


I didn’t realize that Bend Over Boyfriend was actually produced in 1998.  I thought it was a bit odd that Babeland would send out an 11-year-old movie to be reviewed, but who am I to question.  The subtitle of this DVD is A Couple’s Guide to Male Anal Pleasure. 

This movie is good for the following people: guys who have wondered what it would be like to have their asses explored, women who would like to do a dude in the ass or anyone who misses the cheese factor of golden age porn.  Guys who fall into the first or last category have a couple of subcategories: “manly” men who would never admit to anyone that they’d like their starfish tickled, or dudes who don’t give a shit what anyone else thinks about their sexual proclivities and can have adult conversations about their sexuality. 

If you don’t meet any of the criteria, then just stay away from this video.  Don’t point at it.  No, you can’t even look at the cover.  Just walk away.  This video is male-centered.  It talks about and shows guys’ asses.  Not just their cheeks, their booty holes as well.  If you’re an over-compensating, latent homosexual, just back away from this video and keep making faggot jokes with your buddies. 

The movie is mostly a how-to-guide with graphic examples.  No offense to the people involved, but it’s not very stimulating – even the sex scenes.  Your hosts are Carol Queen and her partner Robert Morgan.  I’ve always been a fan of Ms. Queen.  I think her openness about sexuality and willingness to share is sexy.  They convey information about pegging in a light-hearted, but straightforward manner. Though I still don’t know what it means for your prostate to feel “voluptuous.” Any guy who is willing to consider taking a strap-on from the little woman will find this movie useful.  And they also do a pretty decent demonstration.  I’d say their exhibition was the hottest of the bunch.

The video production had an 80’s vibe, while the other performers were straight out of the 70’s.  This is where the golden age cheese comes in.  Except for the hosts, there were two other couples.  They all were really bad actors.  When I say bad, I’m mean bad-even-for-porn-bad.  There are so-called amateur porn actors who look like Meryl Streep compared with these cats.  But all of them, except one, were likable to the point that you were OK with their lack of acting talent.

But long haired guy has to go.  I don’t know this dude’s name, but he was the creepiest naked person I’ve ever seen.  He’s probably creepy with his clothes on, too.  I know, I know.   He’s somebody’s son, but that doesn’t mean I need to see him take it in the ass.  I’m sorry, but I have to vent about creepy guy…lose the cock ring, do something about that ponytail and stop shaking your junk. 

To sum up, Bend Over Boyfriend is a good place to start if you’re looking to expand your horizons as well as your anus.  I would be curious to compare it to more contemporary versions, as there are now warnings about certain toys that are still made with phalates.  As a public service, if Babeland offers the other videos for review, I’ll take one for the team…uh…so to speak.  [UPDATE: That's creepy guy on the cover.]

{Hear the audio review at: http://www.stuartbedasso.com/2009/11/new-show-sex-toy-reviews-3.html}

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