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Thursday, August 20, 2009

Dave's First Day On The Job

Today was my first day of training for my new job. I brought my lunch. Most people didn't and went out. After eating I went outside to get some air and sun. As I'm meandering around the parking lot, I called a friend who I was supposed to have returned a call to over a week ago. The woman who is as co-worker and whom I didn't see sitting in her car with the window open, pretty much heard me say the following in a very loud fashion:

You know those sex toy reviews we've been doing on the podcasts? (pause) Well, it's gonna be really weird this time. (pause) Well, Melyssa's reviewing porn with her husband, and Keziah's got her own thing...and I have to review a masturbation sleeve. (pause) A MASTURBATION SLEEVE!!! You put your dick in it! (pause) No, I don't think they're providing lube. (pause) That's not the weird part. I still don't know how I'm going to do this still living with the folks. (pause) Dude, it's one thing if I'm in the basement, but my bedroom is actually right next to theirs. (pause) No, I'm not worried about them opening the box, I'm worried about the quick knock and the door opening to tell me dinner's ready.

That was day one of my new job.

1 comment:

Melyssa said...

Oh Dave...truly the best first day of work story ever! I would just hope that she just thinks your weird and doesn't "out-weird" you by asking you to an orgy at her house and bring "the sleeve" with you. Unless she was hot. Was she hot?